Birth trauma : the hidden heartache

Why is it so difficult for us to identify and name trauma around childbirth and fertility? Whether it’s something as “common” as a birth breaking from the deeply desired and carefully thought out plan or something unquestionably tragic like stillbirth and loss. There is so much silence and stigma around maternal mental health. Maybe it is because childbirth is so often traumatic that our tendency towards comparison robs us of the ability to name our grief and the toll taken on our bodies. Maybe it is because childbirth is so precious and vulnerable that the pain of our loss is untenable to those around us.  

Whatever it is, there is power in breaking the silence. There is power in letting our honest feelings about our experience into the light without fear of judgement, belittlement, shock, or comparison in a space of support and safety. There are few experiences in life as vulnerable and intimate as trying to conceive or give birth to a child - both in a physical, embodied sense as well as with the tenderness of our hearts. 

Strong mommas don’t always “have it all together.” Strong mommas grieve. Strong mommas cry. Strong mommas keep doing the next right thing, one day at a time, and when that burden is too heavy, they learn that it’s ok to ask for help. Often, the first step to healing is allowing ourselves to acknowledge the depth of the pain we are experiencing. 

You don’t have to carry this alone.